How to get over the stress of hair loss?

I've basically come down to that it is stress that is causing my hair loss. I brush, massage, take cold showers, have almost the perfect diet, exercise everyday, yet I still recede. I ordered the top 6 from the website, but I am almost certain at this point that it is my stress. How do I limit stress completely? I feel as if meditation helps, but whenever I look in the mirror I can't visualize myself having the hairline I want. Does visualization even work to regrow hair?

I'm so very lost now.

Not so much for hair, but I have found visualization to be a great de-stressor. I let my old self disappear and fearlessly strive for a new faultless self, someone who I deem as most pleasing.

I then imagine how this new person involuntarily reflects off of other people and inanimate objects. May sound silly/strange but it works with some practice. I actually find it more helpful than transcendental meditation.

Every time you are in the presence of another individual, any individual, they pull you (from the inside out) towards becoming this improved personage. They become an ever-present mantra.

I think a key is getting over the shame. Its a shaming experience, and nobody with hair loss will tell you otherwise. Why do you feel ashamed? Well you lost something and you feel subconsciously naked and ashamed in the presence of people who possess it. To some degree you feel inferior. Not to mention that feeling tends to build on itself and over time if becomes almost a full-blown narcissism where you are sure everyone is looking at your hair.

Well, the fact is none of these feelings represent reality in the slightest. Three hundred people could get on here and tell you that right now, and it probably wouldn't help because you won't let go of that shame. Its the same thing with each guy or gal who deals with hairloss. We all want to be told that its alright but if we hear it, we can't even believe it.

Only you are going to be able to convince yourself otherwise, and not one piece of advice is going to get you there. But I would say that in the meantime, just pushing through it and getting other areas of your life in check will help immensely. It sounds like you already work out, which is a good thing. Attraction is never about one thing, its a summation of many different things, and it can vary from person to person exactly what things in that packet are a priority. For some women, hair will be toward the top of the list. For others, it really won't. Not that it matters at fucking all, you are just consciousness having an experience and what anyone else thinks of you is literally irrelevant.

But it takes a sense of entitlement to truly live by that statement, and that entitlement is something you will have to at some point (when you get sick and tired of worrying about your hair) reach down, grab your sack, and just take it. If I am being rude, its because I wished someone had said that to me a few years ago. I let a lot of time go by worrying, letting opportunities pass, and that's frustrating.

Go to reddit.com and search for some threads on baldness. What you'll find will probably surprise you. Of course you will find the standard politically correct posts, "Oh don't worry about hair, we don't." We hear that bullshit regularly. But there are some really honest and gratifying posts there that might help change your mind about the importance of hair. For some women, its a thing. For many, it isn't. A tiny dick and going bald are probably the things dudes worry about the most (as far as appearance goes), and its funny, because women don't really give a shit. You wanna know the reason why women generally might not like a small dick and a bald guy? Because men are pussies about both of these issues. Insecurity is easily the most un-sexy thing a man can possess. A woman doesn't like a guy with a small dick because a woman doesn't like an insecure guy in the bedroom, and they can sense your doubt a mile away. They are designed for that. The reason a girl probably is turned off by a bald guy is the same, they can sense his insecurity about it a mile away.

I had an RA in college once, he was 25 and completely bald. This guy slept with every attractive woman who lived in that dorm, I shit you not. By all standards this guy wasn't traditionally good looking, wasn't rich, wasn't famous. He had done his service in the military and just started college. Now you're thinking, well he was ripped. Nope, actually pretty skinny relative to our stereotype of soldiers. The reason he was so attractive was strictly because of how he carried himself. He had a sense of entitlement, and his hair had nothing to do with it. Confidence really is what can silently shout 100 feet around you in all directions. For christ sake, I could tell my mother was attracted to him. Again, completely bald average looking guy.

I know you are looking for stress reduction techniques, something specific. I'm sure there is a lot people can offer you in that regard, and I encourage you give them a try. But its really a matter of re-orienting the way you view yourself and your hairloss. Get over it, its not nearly as big of a deal as you make it out to be. Really. Well, it is a big deal to the degree you make it a big deal. Stop living for your hair. Decide what areas of your life you want to improve, make it a mission that you live for, get up every day to accomplish that mission, set standards for yourself and live to them. That is how you get that sense of entitlement. Be a man. Does a man whose totally centered about himself worry about his fucking hair, or what others think of it? Nope he's living for himself, pursuing his mission and not apologizing for it. Harden the fuck up. That's how you get over the stress.

I had a moment where I realized this all one day, after frankly being told this same thing. Its when I decided to shave, and its been one of the best decisions I've ever made. Not that this is the solution everyone wants to take, but unless you can change your outlook on who you are as a man, and leave hair out of that definition, it will continue to be a stress when it doesn't need to be.

As an aside, I get that the anxiety doesn't disappear overnight. In the meantime, there are a few things that I've found help on those days where its a challenge.

• Phosphatidylserine (this was a big one, had a noticeable calming effect for me, especially taking it with something like Sensoril)
  
• Get your minerals; sea salt or other sources of electrolytes ease anxiety (tip of the hat to CS for this one)
  
• GABA
  
• Proper breathing, learn it and then forget about it
  
• Get enough carbohydrate, learn to notice when your blood sugar is getting low
  

do progressive muscle relaxation on all the muscles surrounding the scalp and also the face, then maybe do body awareness with focus head and scalp for about 5-10 minutes. that way you will be able to eliminate any scalp tension that could potentially contribute to your hairloss.

to reduce social anxiety metta meditation should help

Jon Kabat-Zinn mindfullness techniques will be useful for depression and anxiety as well.
probably good to have like a daily 20 minute routine as well as regular times during the day where you practise mindfulness

few years ago i read nicehair ebook and it talked about visualisation as well as affirmation tapes against social anxiety and anxiety related to hairloss

k that all i can think of right now hope that helps

All really good stuff in this thread.

What I'd add is you have to forgive yourself for this happening to you. The worst case scenario, being totally bald, isn't the end of the world. I've actually kicked the stress demons aside by buzzing my hair down. I initially did it to see my scalp up close and to see the effects topicals were having on my skin, but what happened in the process was I stopped caring about having a full thick head of hair. I liked buzzing it down a few times a week. I even shaved it to the bone just to see what it looked like. Believe it or not, my wife likes it better this way and actually said it made me look younger. I was going grey in areas and I was using color to hide that. Now that I buzz it down, I don't give a shit.

If it's summer where you are? Shave it off. Get some sun on your head and face the demon straight on. I'm still fighting my hair loss. I've essentially stopped it after some agressive loss initially.

I just don't let it rule my life any longer. The one thing, as men, is that we're lucky that shaved/buzzed works on us. I feel horribly for women who suffer this and can't just rock a shaved head unless they are insanely confident and don't give a shit.

To me, it's about facing that fear and kicking it in it's ass. Yeah, you're gonna look different and maybe some shallow women might reject you for not having a full head of hair. But I can assure you, not having your hair isn't going to ruin your life despite what some in here might want you to believe.

At this point, I come here because I'm more concerned with total health. Hair doesn't factor into my mind any longer and I honestly don't miss going to a barber/stylist and spending money on that every 4-6 weeks.

Let yourself off the hook for you having to deal with this on your journey in this life. The sooner you do, the sooner you'll be free of it and people will notice.

Hadrion,

Totally agree.

I honestly think everyone suffering from hair loss should shave their head to the bone, at least one time and just go out into the world, not giving a single fuck. You don't have to keep it that way if you don't want. After all, its not permanent.

But I guarantee you it will change your battle with hair loss.

What you realize when you face the demon head on and just drop the concern, drop the fear, is that hair loss looked like a much bigger monster when you were cowering from it every day. When you face it and just look at it, something is let go. It sounds cheesy but its real. I think what you actually realize is the monster was never there at all, it was like being afraid of your shadow. Accept the loss and ironically it is no longer loss.

Without my hair, its almost as if it never existed to begin with...like I never lost anything. And when you stop feeling like you've lost it, people won't get the sense that you feel like something's missing. Everyone will get more comfortable around you. You just become you again, and not "the hair".

I thought I would get all kinds of negative reactions to it. I didn't. I have got a few comments from very close friends, all in fun, comparing me to a football coach of ours who was bald. That is literally the worst I've received.

I really appreciate it, but I definitely do not want to shave my head. I would look horrible. I need to find a way to get rid of this problem.

Anthonyspencer,

Fantastic posts, as usual. I'm going on my 4th time buzzing my head now and have always grown it back out immediately. This time though, I've re-buzzed probably 5 times. Reason being a lot of what you said in your previous posts. Once you truly face the dilemma head on and you openly display your baldness to the world, you begin to realize how much nobody gives a shit but you. Don't get me wrong, I still stress about it and wish to god I was like most 24 year old males with no hair loss, but displaying "proudly" and not doing a semi-comb over is a strong statement that people respect. I always knew I would look decent with a buzzed head, as I've been doing it in the summers since I was a kid, but I totally understand how people are afraid to do it. All I can say is, eliminating the stress of styling it perfectly and not worrying about the wind, rain etc. is incredibly liberating.

I definitely support you in recommending that any male losing hair should give their head a #1 or no-guard buzz at least once. You will likely be scared shitless to do it, you will probably hate it that night, but it's surprising how much it grows on you. Not to mention, it really helps the sufferer realize it's not the end of the word if you eventually have to buzz it down.

Ultimately though, I agree that no motivational posts or simply buzzing the head are likely to help the majority get over their hair loss completely. For most, it's going to take a lot of self improvement, positive thought training, spiritual advancement etc.

For those who are my fellow younger balding guys though, I should post this experience.  I just moved to a new city and met a girl recently, while I had hair.  One night I had it styled just the way I like it, used concealer - it looked almost perfectly normal.  The girl came over and we were watching a sporting event and she mentioned how one of the players had a really bad receding hair line.  This girl is very cool IMO, but is more vain than most women as well.  After she said that I told her mine was receding too, as she clearly had not noticed it.  She either made no comment or told me it wasn't that bad, couldn't remember.  I ended up buzzing my head without a guard a couple weeks later and we met up again.  I told her, "See my hair line is receding pretty damn good".  Honestly, I didn't know if we would be hanging out that much after this, as we had really just met each other.  Long story short, I've been keeping it buzzed, she's seen and heard me talk about losing hair, but I've stayed confident about it and she's still all over me. Now this is a girl who noticed a random guy's hair loss enough to make an open comment about it, which I don't think is the norm. Most women pay hardly attention to it IME.

As a side note, I've noticed that where I live I am much more hard pressed to find guys my age who are losing any hair, let alone rocking the buzzed head.  So I'm definitely not the norm here, but as we've all heard a million times, confidence and personality really is key to locking down a woman..

The anxiety comes from the fact that you are chasing a solution to your hair loss. If you stopped hoping, stopped chasing, the anxiety could disappear all together. I used to be hell-bent on getting a hair transplant. I went to see one surgeon in Colorado, he wouldn't put my hairline where I wanted it so I didn't get it done. He said youre gonna keep receding so he refused to drop my hairline more than about 3/16ths inch.

I waited a couple years, had really no more receding so I went to see a different surgeon. He said I was too young and that my hairline wasn't that bad and wouldn't perform a transplant on me at all. The guy I had the consultation with said "just live with it" or something like that. At that point I gave up on getting a transplant and just looked at my hairline and said this is what it is. It was a great day. I still wore a hat though, but one day I couldn't find it so I went without it. I never really bothered to find it either. Now I can go anywhere with no hat and no transplant and it feels great. Don't be in a prison to your hair loss.

Ps, no woman has the power or nerve to hold a bald man's baldness against him unless he gives it to her. If you say in a whimpering voice "um excuse me ma'am, ma'am, do you mind my hideous bald head?" She will say yes. But if you own it, and are far too bulletproof to be reduced to a pansy because your missing a few hairs then you would never ask the question in the first place.

Don't ask the question.

My main bit of advice to you is avoided taking stress, because it is considered as the primary cause of hair loss. Well the way your hair grows depend on many factor, so you need to have medical advice before this problem get out of reach.   To limit stress, maintain a healthy lifestyle, increase intake of water and avoid over handling your hair.

aw dude.. yeah I know it sucks.

I was about to say that stress in itself can't be causing AGA, but hey I mean the stress response increasing pro-AGA enzymes is something we are heavily discussing.

So erm... I mean, you have no IBS or anything? If your digestion is perfect and your family has no other hair loss then maybe it could be stress o.O

Its kind of funny how much each sex pines over being physically attractive for the other sex, and both sexes have very, very, very little of a concept about what true attraction is for the opposite sex.

The thing that makes it so confusing is that attraction is an abstraction of many different things, and it is socially influenced. Of course, there are biological cues that tell you to be attracted to certain qualities, but there are a great deal that are also taught to you socially. And most people's sexuality goes so much deeper than anyone will ever know. You will never truly know the full depth of the sexuality of anyone, even your significant others. Its just too deep and complex. That's why when you get a very surface level approximation of what someone "thinks" is attractive, its generally what society thinks they should say, rather what they think is appropriate for their gender role [women: musculature, tall, square jaw, facial hair, wide shoulders, etc., men: big ass, large boobs, slim waist, long hair, long legs, etc.] In reality, these things are a glint, just a minute slice of the whole panorama of what both sexes can be attracted to.

This is particularly true for women. Now don't go around believing all of the bullshit you hear about them not being visually stimulated or aroused as much as men. Its a crock. Women are highly sexual and generally just as interested in sex as men. But there is a striking difference in the way they are aroused, which is much more psychological. Both sexes' forms of arousal are reactive, but whereas a male's form of arousal tends to be more keyed in on certain anatomical ratios and physical things, women's is much more reactive in the sense of preparation for sex. They react heavily to being desired, hence one reason why most report being turned on by erect penises, but not by flaccid penis. They are turned on by cues that signal: "Hey I want to have sex with you" or "Hey its sex time". Also a reason for why they tend to (even if they won't admit it) get turned on at the sight of other women naked. Its not because they are necessarily sexually attracted to them (they can be though), it has to do with it being a signal that there is probably some sex happening.

But I'm getting off of the point, that being that most women's modes of attraction and sexual selection are unknown, confusing, and always changing even to them. Ask a woman what she wants in a man and she'll tell you the general list of attractive qualities society has taught her over many years. And there is no doubt these things are attractive to many women. But they are attracted to many, many more things. Attraction on their part isn't even a choice really. The depth of everything that is capable of turning them on, its like the woman is floating in the ocean...ask her what turns her on and she'll be aware of the first 10 m of water, not even conscious of the depth of ocean beneath her. Some are more conscious of it than others. Most women have probably fantasized about things they would never tell anyone, even their closest friends. I've talked with women who said they have fantasized about men they wouldn't talk about, like bosses. One even admitted to fantasizing about her red headed boss who had the costanza bald ring on his head.

So what's the take away. Most women are generally aware of a certain subset of things they've been taught to like by society, but many of them realize on another level they are attracted to a lot of other things that don't fit that bullet list. In fact, many women aren't even sure of what they want, they don't know how to react to that sexual reaction they get in certain unexplainable situations. The lesson is don't react to women, let them react to you. They are so much more efficient at picking up subtle communications than us men. If you give them permission to hate your baldness (in any way, subconsciously or consciously) they will feel that cue, feel your self doubt, and they will pounce on you for it. For good reason. Women ought do despise a man who is unsure of himself and self-pitying. Think evolutionarily. Women need a man whose self-assured that they can be confident will take care of them, provide, protect. They are machines evolved for assessing that a man is confident and capable. So if you give them a reason to doubt you, they will doubt you and hate your for it. You react emotionally, they'll resent you for it. Display your insecurity, they'll confirm your insecurity for you.

But show confidence, security, a general sense of entitlement and an unapologetic sense of "I am man", she'll recognize that. Remember, they are like mirrors and reflect back what you send at them. Approach your insecurities like you have none. In the end, they really don't care about your flaws or even view them in the same way you do, they are taking cues on how to act toward them. Give them the sense it doesn't matter to you, and it won't matter to them either. Apply that to general society as well, of course with men being the competitive pricks they are sometimes, a jab here or there is unavoidable, but a man sure of himself knows how to deal with it. Basically, just show her that your desire for her (or whatever emotion your are feeling) is more important and her feelings about your level of attraction are irrelevant, the thing is that makes you attractive.
[These are things I'm learning too, I know I'll write them in an authoritative way, but I'm just as much trying to centralize these ideas too]

I really appreciate you taking the time to type this much, Anthony, thanks. A lot of really cool advice you jotted down.

Hopi, my dad was going bald, but I have a near perfect diet. I can't understand what would be causing this except for stress.

I remember when I shaved my head completely bald and I was shitting myself in case I got rejected by women. On the contrary. I go out and I couldn't believe how much female attention I was getting in all of the bars I went to. I personally don't like my head being bald, but it didn't stop women liking it.

In regards to the visualization techniques... I did try these things + affirmations / incantations many years ago and I had no luck with them. But this may have been due to the fact that I had a deep underlying fear that they would not work, and so, my subconscious may have been responding to this underlying fear or 'lack of faith' if you will.

It makes sense to me that the subconscious can create the physiological conditions necessary to cause baldness to manifest because years before I started losing my hair I was shitting myself that I might become afflicted by it. I remember when I was about 12 and some older guy regularly told to me that I was a candidate for baldness. This created a deep rooted psychological anchor in my mind and I began shitting myself that it would happen to me. When I was 16, my temples started to recede. So you never know... MPB may start off as a psychosomatic issue which may cause the subconscious to create conditions that make us more susceptible it.

I've read some stories where balding men used hypnosis to cure their MPB, but the internet is a cauldron of disinformation, so you can never be sure what's legit and what's not.

Damnit, the following article says that scalp inflammation / hairloss can be induced by fearing it. I don't know if this may be of any use to you, but I found it an interesting read:

"Burning scalp syndrome is scientifically known as trichodynia or scalp dysethesia. It commonly affects people suffering from hair loss conditions, like androgenetic alopecia and telegon effluvium. Burning scalp syndrome is characterized by painful burning sensations in the scalp and around the roots of hair. Although a clinical cause has not been determined, scientists believe that "substance P," a neuropeptide made by nerve cells, may be to blame. Burning scalp syndrome can be incredibly painful, and while there is no perfected cure, dermatologists have had success treating the condition with antidepressants.

Symptoms
People suffering from burning scalp syndrome complain of burning, itching and stinging of the scalp. These symptoms are often triggered or made worse by physical or psychological stress. Trichodynia, unlike scalp dysethesia, is also characterized by painful sensations in the hair itself, which become more intense when the hair is touched.

Occurrence
According to "Clinical Management in Psychodermatology," 34 percent of people suffering from chronic hair loss syndromes experience burning scalp syndrome. The pain occurs with no physical pathological findings, and is thought to be a somatoform disorder. Somatoform disorders are psychological disorders in which physical symptoms appear or are felt with no predictable or understandable medical cause.

Cause
According to keratin.com, doctors do not precisely understand the cause of burning scalp disorder. However, research has shown that neuropeptides in the skin and hair follicles may be involved. Substance P fluctuates in amount as hair follicles grow and die. It has been shown to create sensations of pain, and is thought to become more prevalent as hair follicles die. Another explanation for burning scalp disorder is that cell activity caused by androgenetic alopecia or telegon effluvium produces inflammation, which results in pain. There could also be underlying psychological problems that cause the disorder.

Psychology
According to "Clinical Management in Psychodermatology," just over three-fourths of patients with burning scalp syndrome also have psychiatric disorders, such as depression, anxiety disorders or obsessive-compulsive disorders. Burning scalp syndrome has also been linked to fear of hair loss, and this fear may produce painful sensations in the scalp.

Treatment
According to keratin.com, burning scalp syndrome is sometimes treated with tricyclic antidepressants. While usually taken to relieve depression, tricyclic antidepressants have been proven to help reduce levels of substance P. It is thought that reduction of substance P levels will help ease sensations of pain. Other treatments for burning scalp syndrome include corticosteroids, capsaicin, anesthetic agents and gentle shampooing."

Xenon wrote:
According to keratin.com, burning scalp syndrome is sometimes treated with tricyclic antidepressants.

why tricyclic antidepressants only?
is cipralex tricyclic antidepressant?

vg wrote:

Xenon wrote:
According to keratin.com, burning scalp syndrome is sometimes treated with tricyclic antidepressants.

why tricyclic antidepressants only?
is cipralex tricyclic antidepressant?

No idea, but it apparently suppresses neuropeptide p and somehow lowers inflammation.

The point of me posting the article was to show how it may be true, that constantly fearing losing your hair, may actually create inflammatory conditions within the scalp that lead to hairloss. I'm not saying this is the cause per se, but may well play some part.

A lot of good info bouncing back and forth, so, thanks for that. I'm really interested to see how much of reality can be molded by the mind itself.

Xenon, a nice post there. But the scientific community has a habit of classifying anything they don't understand as poppycock. Oh, we can't diagnose it or test it, we don't have understanding of this phenomenon, so the patient is imagining it- it's fear, psychological disorder.

Take the example of autoimmune diseases. Oh, your immune system is faulty. No, it isn't! The docs just don't understand the phenomena yet. Instead of being humble enough to admit their limitations, doctors are quick to categorize something they don't understand.

yeh, rugrats, I once read a book on hypnotism which stated that our minds have a critical sensor which stops the subconscious from becoming suggestible to 'nonsensical' information which may cause us to become delusional or insane.  

Due to the fact that mind-over-matter healing techniques are regarded as bullshit, I guess this has become somewhat of a Zeitgeistic / 100th monkey syndrome phenomenon, whereby we have all been conditioned into a collective belief that it is not possible for the subconscious mind to heal the body. So in that regard, any affirmations or visualization techniques are doomed to failure because we don't believe that they will work.

I think some of it depends on the domain you are studying the research from. If you take a look at some of the primate and human research thats taken/ing place in socio-/psychoendocrinology you'll find that the communities are well aware that the organism's experience and psychological interpretations of that experience have direct and measurable effects on physiological phenomena. Things like social cues or changes in their place in the social ladder. In humans, one's perceived subjective social standing has direct effects on measures of inflammation, correlating heavily with increased disease rates in the poor. If you think you are down and out, you'll be down and out.

Without saying it in the same words as you guys are putting it, these fields of research are acknowledging the brain and your intangible thoughts/interpretations can and do effect the body physically. I would imagine what we know to be the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this. In the next century it will be amazing to see just what the mind is capable of. Do I think it can contribute to hair loss, yes, powerfully.

But to Rugrat's point, absolutely true how the doctor's will tend to use an intangible, immeasurable cause as a scapegoat for a physical affliction they can't explain. What makes it so easy is that, "Well its all in your head" has no viable way to measure its accuracy. Hence its a useful bucket for physicians to just toss things they don't understand in. And the fact that there is some truth to the idea that the brain can effect the body makes it passable.

There is a guy by the name of Lou Gauthier who claims to have been bald for many years. He claimed to have cured his baldness by tapping into the power of his subconscious mind. When I studied MPB from this angle (many years ago), his 'Luftek system' intrigued me, but there were many skeptics who believed he was a fraud. Perhaps people just could not believe that the subconscious was capable of reprogramming the genome or strengthening hair IDK.

Around the same time, I also got into the works of Mary Baker Eddy -- the founder of Christian Science. In her book she said that it is belief in and fear of the ailment that causes it to materialize.

My Ego or the dominant objective mind's response to these things is, 'MUMBO JUMBO BULLSHIT!', yet the less influential subjective aspect of mind, which deals with the abstract, believes that it is possible to heal ailments in such a way. it's just that the objective mind wears the pants and the subjective is the submissive housewife who does what the pigheaded objective husband tells it.

When I used to use mental affirmations, I'd say things like, 'My baldness is disappearing', yet each time I mentioned the word 'bald' in my mind it created a pang of fear and doubt in my solar plexus -- like the word alone struck terror into me and thus gave it power over me. I should have really used positive affirmations such as 'My hair is perfect'. In fact, I have an unhealthy obsession of constantly looking at my hairline in the mirror... I wouldn't be surprised if this was also reinforcing my belief in the condition and making it more prominent, if you will.

Perhaps if I stop giving a fuck about it, it might all just go away lol

I had considered that a lot during the process of my loss, but its a powerful loop. You think you are losing, you need to go check it out in the mirror to affirm.