Song about male pattern baldness LOL WTF?

I had this album but don't remember this tune. I think some of the lyrics are pretty much on the mark though:

'Bald' by The Darkness

It would appear that male pattern
baldness has set in
his hair, at an alarming pace
running away from his face
he's losing his virility
and now his masculinity
has been compromised
and his libido down-sized

Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
it's not for me you understand

Bald, slap headed and hairless
bald he is destined to be
bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.

From what I have been reading
his scalp needs kneading
to stimulate each follicle
and reverse this diabolical
condition that's afflicted he
for years and has cruelly
repulsed each potential mate
and left him with a balding pate

Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
it's not for me you understand

Bald, slap headed and hairless
bald he is destined to be
bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.

Sock it to me baby, yeah!

Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
it's not for me you understand

Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
it's not for me you understand

Bald, slap headed and hairless
bald he is destined to be
bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.
Thank God!

Bald, slap headed and hairless
bald he is destined to be
bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.
How?

his scalp needs kneading to stimulate each follicle wrote:

LOL i think the guy who wrote this is follow our hair loss forums ...possibly he is bald too

long hair wrote:

LOL i think the guy who wrote this is  follow our hair loss forums ...possibly he is bald too

They were my thoughts also. And you're right, he was going bald until he opted for a transplant.

There is this song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzXUmbU58ME

hairmaniac wrote:There is this song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzXUmbU58ME

LOL what a strange tune to make it on to an album. I guess the issue was dear to him seeing as he was starting to bald.

That's what I once thought, but it's actually about the guitarist, who got a frontal hair transplant a few years later and now has a huge bald crown (his dad went very bald).

I watched The Darkness in a streamed concert last fall and thought the singer looked good and young for his age. I think I would have noticed if the band played that song. My educated guess is that it's rarely performed.

Oh right, I thought I saw past pics of him with diffuse thinning around the front... must have been his guitarist brother.

I saw them a couple of years back... pretty good live, but they didn't sing Bald, as I recall.

No, I was talking about Rush's song. It's about Alex Lifeson's hair.