Shyness / Social anxiety

It's keeping me from living a normal life. It's manifested through stuttering, lack of eye contact, flushing when conversing with people, and generally avoiding common activities such as phone calls and doorbells. Job interviews just create a massive fear in my mind (which is tough, because I'll have some soon).

I recall being social and active up until 6th or 7th grade, at which time I had amalgams and braces. Ever since then, it's been a strange isolated world, even when I try my hardest to be social. It just feels very uncomfortable. I feel my best when by myself, though once in a while a strong urge to hang out with a few friends takes over.

My question is, can strong shyness (even in adulthood) and social anxiety be caused by heavy metals? After all the metal talk on this forum, I'm sure there has to be a connection. Any advice from anyone regarding coping mechanisms or possible chelation ideas, I'd be extremely grateful. This was hard for me to post.

I had a lot of the same problems. It should not be hard for you to post as a lot of people on here on here to help.

Heavy Metal Cleanse wiil help. There are a lot of other things you can do also. I used to have a lot of anxiety and dwell on everything from the past to the future. I realize now it was mostly useless things.

If you type in anxiety in the search it will give you tons of info on it. I would start there.

Hey man. Easiest and most available thing you can do anywhere is to just man up and start taking cold showers. It'll benefit your anxiety, and your hair.

http://www.earthclinic.com/Remedies/showers.html
Bunch of testimonials there about clearing anxiety.

Thanks to rdkml for the link.

Thanks guys. Trace, it was only hard to post because I've never told anyone before. Getting it out there was a leap. I'll check out anxiety stuff here.

Hey mistmermr, that's interesting, I started cold showers a few days ago for scalp benefits due to the heat theory. It would be great if they helped! I'll definitely check out that link too. Thank you both!

lithium will be good, also homeopathic lithium from shuessler salts

Sound like you could benefit from professional help - like cognitive therapy. It is your
thinking that is faulty, not you! But you have to change thinking patterns, they fuel
the anxiety together with negative emotions.

Hm... do you still have the amalgams?

I think I have 1, but one day I want to get rid of it. Until then I'm ensuring I get enough selenium (I eat Brazil nuts) to help my body chelate the mercury.

Other than that.. it's deffo a problem I have too. Do you have any digestive issues?

I only ask because they too are connected to HPA axis stimulation.

I'm a little awkward/uncomfortable socially but mostly ok. I find alcohol and weed can help lol

There are also some good natural anti-anxiety herbs and things

I wouldn't recommend benzodiazepines...

Kava Kava.

Oral pathology (cleaning this up can have vast improvement if one see's the correct dentist..or will go backwards if they see the wrong dentist).

Hoppi - Killing Candida while still having an amalgam makes no sense...worry about the Candida after you deal with the amalgam. Mercury is the most toxic non-radioactive substance in the world. 3rd most toxic if you count radioactive elements.

Yes Lithium Orotate will take the edge off a little.

http://www.immortalhair.org/apps/blog/show/1897941-prevent-neurological-diseases-with-a-controversial-mineral
http://www.immortalhair.org/apps/blog/show/1908667-more-about-lithium

Certain amino acid therapy works too, but the devil is in the details and go beyond the scope of this forum.

Heavy metals (clearing them out will help too).

Then there are certain environmental factors increase polymorphisms. These can be deal with using the right therapies.

I'm currently dealing with anxiety atm, the doc wants me to go on lexapro for a month and see how i do but I'm not sure i want to. My stuttering has also come back something chronic, no idea why i had it when i was about 6 then by 10 it had stopped and only just started again recently. I'll have to give this Lithium Orotate a go.

Lexapro isn't the answer. It will just cause more problems.

I forgot to mention a few relevant things.

(1) For those that stutter would consider trialing a transdermal pregnenolone cream.

http://www.iherb.com/Life-Flo-Health-Organic-Living-Pregnenolone-2-oz-57-g/15119

This does work for some and it's relatively inexpensive to find out if it works for you or not.

Second...pound down the safe salt (Personally love this stuff)
http://www.iherb.com/Trace-Minerals-Research-40-000-Volts-Electrolyte-Concentrate-8-fl-oz-237-ml/22268

Or you can go with Morton's Canning and Pickling salt (contains no harmful fillers). More salt less anxiety (have an unpublished article on this).

cpio wrote:
Sound like you could benefit from professional help - like cognitive therapy. It is your
thinking that is faulty, not you! But you have to change thinking patterns, they fuel
the anxiety together with negative emotions.

This.

If you are about to walk into a social situation expecting the same old thing to happen, it will. But if you can train yourself to believe that walking into that situation is in reality no different than, say, visiting with your family in a comfortable setting, you should be able to train yourself to avoid any kind of anxiety/ panic attack, it may take time but this is the kind of thing that helped me get over anxiety (I used to have it really bad).

As far as supplements, I have taken a lot of things over the years, but the thing that I found that helps give me a sense of well being is the "Amazing Grass Superfood" powder. It has wheat grass and a ton of other things, and i don't think I will ever stop taking it because when I run out, within a week of quitting I start feeling like my body is imbalanced, like it's missing something. It did wonders for my overall sense of well being.

CausticSymmetry wrote:Lexapro isn't the answer. It will just cause more problems.

I forgot to mention a few relevant things.

(1) For those that stutter would consider trialing a transdermal pregnenolone cream.

http://www.iherb.com/Life-Flo-Health-Organic-Living-Pregnenolone-2-oz-57-g/15119

This does work for some and it's relatively inexpensive to find out if it works for you or not.

Second...pound down the safe salt (Personally love this stuff)
http://www.iherb.com/Trace-Minerals-Research-40-000-Volts-Electrolyte-Concentrate-8-fl-oz-237-ml/22268

Or you can go with Morton's Canning and Pickling salt (contains no harmful fillers). More salt less anxiety (have an unpublished article on this).

iherb is sold out of the 40000 volts so I ordered it from drugstore.com. It's cheaper than iherb if you get 4 bottles and get free shipping.

http://www.drugstore.com/trace-minerals-research-40000-volts-electrolyte-concentrate/qxp380000?catid=183308

How much would you recommend adding to 1 gallon of reverse osmosis water? I was thinking 1 or 2 teaspoons so 1 bottle would remineralize 24-48 gallons.

Well, it looks like it's back in stock at iherb.

CausticSymmetry wrote:Lexapro isn't the answer. It will just cause more problems.

I forgot to mention a few relevant things.

(1) For those that stutter would consider trialing a transdermal pregnenolone cream.

http://www.iherb.com/Life-Flo-Health-Organic-Living-Pregnenolone-2-oz-57-g/15119

and of course when i check iherb that pregnenolone cream can't be imported to Aus, ugh why doesn't that surprise me. I might be able to get it locally...maybe, i know the melatonin supplement I'm taking couldn't be imported from iherb but i found a online store based in aus that had the same bran so we'll see.

IME Lithium Orotate gave me a slight lift and I felt a bit more stable when I was going through some hard times (anxiety included), but it wasn't enough for my anxiety at that point. I'd definitely try it out as it is cheap and everyone responds differently to these supps.

I think iodine + Mg Cl helps. I know exercise helps!! If it's outdoors your results will be better. The "top 6" have actually improved my anxiety and what I'm finding works well for anxiety is quercetin!! I gave a nice presentation the other day in front of a big business class and felt great, however, I surfed that day, ate a solid healthy meal and got all my supps in including 800mg Quercetin. I already feel better about my next presentation even though I know I deal with anxiety, which just goes to show that a lot of this is mental!

Smurfy, I sympathise with you cos I've experienced similar.

I'm no expert, but I can tell you what helped me in a huge way with feelings of social anxiety and shyness. Bear in mind that these are just my observations, I'm no Dr. Phil.

When you think about the nature of social anxiety, it is very self-centred (gasp, shock, horror!).

I am anxious because I feel that person is judging me and that makes me feel like I'm not good enough.

I am anxious because if I say such and such a thing, they might think I'm a retard and I'll feel dumb.

I am anxious because making eye contact makes me feel like I'm being scrutinised.

Right now you may be feeling anxious because some faceless guy on the internet said that you're self-centred    

Just do a little exercise for yourself and write down, 'I am anxious because …' followed by the reason you are feeling anxious (you may have to dig a bit, but it's not too hard when you get going).

You'll find that the vast majority of anxiety-inducing situations will be caused by varying degrees of imaginary discomforts which will afflict the Self.

Self-centredness can manifest in two ways, depending on the person in question: anxiety/self-abasement, or anger/pride, and you don't have to be a rocket scientist to see what the fruit of either will be. They are both essentially 'taking mentalities', not giving, and they both cause harm.

I struggled for years with the question of how I could become more self confident, all the while not realising that I was asking the wrong question of myself.

What really helped was to realise that I didn't need to be more self confident, I just needed to develop a giving mentality, instead of a taking one. It seems counter-intuitive, but giving brings about a sense of power (a good kind of power, not a domineering kind of power), which completely overthrows anxiety.

It's pretty simple, when a person is anxious/self abasing, or angry/proud the focus is on self, energy is turned inward, and the result is harmful for all parties involved, whereas, when the focus is on giving, energy is turned outward, and the fruit is beneficial to both the giver and the receiver.

When I realised that everyone essentially wants the same things, regardless of race, religion, age, sex, political affiliation, etc, namely: Love/acceptance, a sense of safety, and a feeling of belonging, then I knew just what to give.

I said to myself, 'hey, this person wants to feel loved, accepted and safe around me and, gosh darn it, I'm gonna give it to them!'

Now I try to go into situations, not thinking of how people are perceiving me, but rather thinking of what I can give, whether it be a compliment, or a smile, or whatever I think the other person will appreciate most. You can be creative with it, there's no situation where you have nothing to give.

It's simple: when your attention is on Self, it can't be on giving, and when your attention is on giving, it can't be on Self.

Use it / don't use it, but if you do, give it a fair trial, like for a week, and observe what the results are :-)

Smurfy, I developed a terrible stutter in my early 20's and had it until I was around 32 (I'm 34 now). First off, I believe it was caused by specific traumatic events which caused extreme anxiety and tension within my solar plexus region. From what I understand, the diaphragm needs plenty of oxygen in order for us to be able to form speech properly, but when it contracts for too long, not enough air can reach it.

Anyway, I began to notice something which made my stutter much worse: sleeping in a room with poor ventilation and high C02 levels... not only was this causing my stutter to become much worse, but it was making me even more nervous and irritable, AND caused some scalp inflammation. So, I decided to start sleeping with my window ajar, and lo and behold, my stutter began to miraculously vanish, along with anxiety problems.  

I sincerely believe that sleeping in a room with fresh oxygen, oxygenated my diaphragm and caused my speech to improve. I'd also say that high C02 was causing neurological disturbances, which may well have played a role in my speech impediment.

My stutter has completely gone now, BUT I still do get nervous when I receive a call from someone I don't know, and I tense up a bit when it comes to saying 'hello', but as soon as that part is over with I can hold a conversation perfectly.

ETA: a good way of discharging built up adrenaline is catharsis. Get a punch bag and knock the living shit out of it. Works really well in removing nervousness and tension from the diaphragm area.

From my experience its just something you have to defeat and adapt to by yourself. And you know what? It's a very liberating feeling had it with people I did not know or just met was very shy in new groups and meeting new people. Felt like I couldn't act like myself when I was with certain people. Wouldn't make jokes or joke around because people might think I am not funny, all these insecurities....but as I got older (i'm 28 now) step by step I started shedding these anxieties and fears, doubts away. I am more attentive to people, relaxed and honestly I just don't give a shit any more. I use to be scared of dancing in front of people. Now I do it all the time. It starts in the mind if you let go just once you will slowly gain more confidence. Talk to yourself convince yourself it will take time, but once the time comes you'll look back and be like....wow that wasn't shit I can do this. I am not 100 percent, but I learned just be yourself as corny as that sounds. Do what you would do around people that is in your soul don't supress it any more

Spoiler alert: lengthy rant/post  

I've spent the last day and up till now reading and really thinking about all your replies. Each one is a little different but ultimately work as components together. I was going to respond to each of you since they're all of great interest, but I'd be typing a novel. Going to try and spill my thoughts all at once here.

I've had a stutter since I was little... 5-10 years old. It wasn't a very healthy childhood... neglect, common physical punishment, junk foods, and always being forced to do things I hated. This is probably fairly common to many, but it left an impression. I notice my stutter is way worse around family members, I'm talking like every other sentence there's a pause/word jamming, along with many feelings of "oh shit... what did I say?". Among friends, it's quite a bit rarer since I feel more comfortable and "myself" around them. This leads me to believe it's stress-dependant... insecurity and uneasiness dependent. Though Xenon, I also notice an increase in frequency when enclosed, for example the winter months, it seems noticeably worse, perhaps from the stuffy house. I have a pregnenolone dispenser, so I think you've mentioned this before, CS. I gave it a fair couple-week trial, but didn't see any difference. Something that seems to facilitate fluent speech is Sole (Himalayan salt dissolved in water). Mineralization seems to keep it at bay, probably by lower stress levels. Without a shadow of a doubt, the chronic fear of stuttering keeps me from engaging any social situation. Xenon, you mention you have trouble saying "hello" on the phone. This is huge for me too. At one point two years ago, the lady on the other end nearly hung up when I couldn't hammer out "hello" in 5 seconds, which felt like eternity. But like you, after that I held a perfect conversation. As others have said, it's all a confidence thing, and subservience hurts. Playing a confident role feels very strange, but necessary, as I'm always told what to do, never being asked how to do things instead.

If I had to walk up to someone in a store and ask for help, or be told to call a stranger on the phone, well you can just kill me now. (well, more for the phone part). In part it's a learned behavior because my mother and father shy away from talking to others as well, whenever possible. I meet others that openly walk straight up to strangers, or answer phone calls from unknown numbers, and it boggles my mind.

Alright, on to you guys.

Lithium is rather interesting, but also one of those methods that scare me. I tend to have ADD symptoms as well, such as making a list of 20 things to do, but being so engaged in planning what to do, I never do them because my brain stops. Also, taking an isolated mineral seems dangerous. Couldn't a multi mineral or a form of concentrace supply it with cofactors? If anything, I'd opt for natural sources if possible first.

For cognitive therapy, I'm sure it would go a long way. Quite a bit is a learned behavior, I'm sure. If I can't beat this, it's a method I will definitely investigate, albeit nervously. (I have the fear already that they're going to make me do these very hard activities...) It really is all in my/our head, but changing an entire thought pattern is like changing your perception of reality. Drastic, but again, maybe necessary.

Hoppi, my digestion used to be rough, but for a few years it's been great. White bread, milk and larger amounts of fruit screw me up, so I avoid those. As far as I know, the pipes are working well, and efficiently may I add! I have a feeling I detox metals quite well, as there's very little symptoms other than gray hair, though I wonder if the initial "burst" of them was too much for my transport system to handle, especially since I never had a good diet until I was 25 (I'm 28 now).

Hairy Potter... your post struck me right. I find myself being self-centered A LOT of the time. Seeing as I'm by myself a good chunk of the day, a bit of a superiority complex develops. I don't mind that you called me out, in fact I enjoyed it. It's true you're a faceless guy on the internet, but really, we're all people behind the words too, so it means a lot. I may end up printing out your post and carrying it with me, as an emergency reminder if I feel pressure. Effective as of this post, I'm going to try your method. It really is a mind-trick... my perception is the point of view of a movie audience, like they are watching and judging what I see through my eyes... "is he gonna go in the room?" "think he'll say that?" "ooh bet he doesn't haha". You're spot on with the outward energy. Think of others, not yourself when confronting a situation!

Hairbeback... You're also right, just have to learn to stop caring and what happens, happens! Your advice works for other areas than just social ideals. The "taking the first step" approach is absolutely key, and being yourself. The biggest anti-anxiety is really just being yourself, what else is there to say? I fail to do this around certain people.

What I can say is correlated with helping anxiety is mineralization, cilantro!, chelation (iodine), ejaculation (seriously), and gut health. Having a clean gut with proper functioning immunity leads to a better mood, which drops stress and boosts confidence. I've made big strides in the last year, but still have work to do. The thing I still have to explore is the anxiety. There is no panic attack, no real rapid heartbeat, no sweat, no obvious trigger. My body just instinctively flees the area or ignores the phone, without hardly a conscious thought.

There's work to be done, but I'm giving all your methods a fair shot. Thanks for the new perspectives!

Edit: Oh and Xenon, the punching bag is a nice idea. I tend to bottle up my emotions, and don't want to dump them on others, so a real and a vocal could go a long way for stress relief!

Smurfy I am 28 and dealt with this most of my life as well. Since I was young I have been naturally shy and get "red" under many situations where attention is put on me. I also have had that fear of getting in front of people like its worse than death itself. I would avoid any situations where there is a posibility of the spotlight being put on me and how people would judge me. Even birthdays where people would open my gift. I think it has a lot to do with where you are in life.

When it was its worst was when in was in school and the future was uncertain. I didnt make a lot of money and that added to my confidence issue. I realized a few years after I graduated that you have to just take the fears that cause your anxiety head on. Helping my digestion issues did help but doing the things and beyond helped my social anxiety tremendously. For instance if you are afraid of flying go fly in a 2 seater jet with lots of turbulence. If your afraid of speeches take a lengthy class that makes you get in front of people.

I now make decent money and have to negotiate and deal with people on a daily basis. Starting to move in the right direction builds confidence and helped me with it. I use to be afraid to call people on the phone, now Im doing this all day. You just have to experience the beyond and you will look back at that fear or anxiety and realize it wasnt anything to worry about at all.

bh- That's truly inspirational, and admittedly very sound advice. My life is disorganized for our age (kind of why I started this topic), and I feel massive guilt because of it. Digestion has given me more determination to try things that seem impossible, but haven't motivated me enough to take the leap. For instance, I was in a car crash a few years ago due to low blood sugar I believe, and since then I've been very unsure of myself, and lack the confidence that I won't just do it again, so I avoid driving, and either walk or hitch a ride somewhere. You're right on the money, gotta face it head on.

May I ask, how did you go about taking that first step... what triggered you to say "ok. I have to do this.", and what gave you the strength to actually go through? I'm missing that willpower to flip the switch and dive right in.

Seems us 28'ers know about this.  

Smurf I know what you mean about certain incidents where you have had an anxiety attack and then you try to avoid renacting every bit of that situation. My first anxiety attack I was driving at night over a long bridge. For the longest time I would avoid driving at night because of this.

To be honest what helped me the most was alcohol(which actually makes my digestion worse however). I didnt even need to drink it, if it was there and I knew I could drink a beer and it would help me that is all I needed to know. Also, music helps quite a bit. Things that get your mind off from being ocd.

I know some people say alcohol makes theirs worse but not for me. It calms me down. If I drink a beer im no longer anxious. I was the best man at a wedding and I had to give a speech. I was deathly afraid of speeches btw. I drank a couple beers and got through it fine. I prolly would have been a nervous wreck otherwise lol. Anyway I did really well and from there on I have built upon that. You look back and say you can do that again no problem and it doesn't seem like such a huge cliff anymore. For me it was basically like conquering my fears.  

I use to hate flying. A friend of mine that's a pilot asked me to have lunch. Well he ended up taking us to a small airport where they fly small prop planes. It was a very windy day but I still had to take that step and make a decision to get on. We flew and the turbulence was crazy. The destination airport was even shut down due to crashed plane on the runway and we ended up landing right over it. Now when I fly I look back and think I made it through that so it cant get much worse.

I have a co worker who is older. I once discussed my anxiety issues with him. All he told me was that life is too short for that ****, which is so true. It is something very simple but something that has stuck with me.

Anyways sorry to go off on a rant but anything that may help. Definitely getting on the right path and working to become successful in life makes a big difference. Opportunities will come to you and you just need to take them. Almost like that movie "Yes Man" lol. Watch it if you haven't. Ive actually done things that I normally wouldn't have because of that movie, even though its a not completely serious.

Smurfy, others, you may wish to try two yoga poses of shoulderstand (not headstand) and supine spinal twist. A simple but nice demo of the latter is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0o0kNeOyH98&list=PLwAtZMnt81T3sYxW7znggF2adCrei6aDF&index=1
4:30-7:40

The reason I recommend these two poses is because they release muscles of the neck and face area and also energise them. Take care to only do them within your limitations and range, slowly and gently, with attention on natural rhythm of breath, and on the neck region. If you do give them a try, try them for a week and post whether you feel improvement. In my view, these two poses can be really effective in the problem you mention.

Since it is not advisable to do yoga poses in isolation (a full session is always better), the youtube link above is a very nice basic intro. You can just add the shoulderstand to that program. To remind again, do the movements around neck/jaw very slowly and consciously (unlike in the video, which shows quick movement) for speech benefits.

Don't get carried away with the iodine, 1mg or so is probably fine. Try adding plenty of support nutrients like magnesium, B complex and whatever.

It's a very long-term solution, but I would recommend doing a trial round of frequent dose ALA with the basic support supplements to see if you get a reaction. Personally I wouldn't take cilantro as the pharmacokinetics are too unclear. I don't want to be pushy, but the Cutler stuff is out there and worth catching an interview or something if you can.

You could try hypnosis or perhaps meditation. I recall someone on here saying they worked a hypnotist over Skype.

I think chronic parasites could be a factor, but have no idea how to treat them realistically. Parasitology testing is too unreliable, though if you're in the US Parawellness might be a half-decent shot. Best bet is to focus on strengthening your immune and digestive systems. Herbs might keep it under control, but I don't put much faith in them curing anything.

IMO the cause is physiological, but you can suppress the symptoms with behaviour and therapy.